We broke up over a damn post-it-note

     Recently I befriended a woman, whose specialization is social media and networking.  Through our friendship I've learned more than I've ever wanted to know about Facebook, MySpace, Linkin and etc.  Originally, I started using social media for keeping up with friends and events. The Invites, games, and the status updates kept my days fun and interesting.  Then I started to hear that friends and couples were breaking up, or fighting because of information from a Facebook.  These couples were breaking up because of a "post-it-note".  I found it hard to believe, until I had some Facebook drama myself.

     Just over this past year, I was dating a woman I met during a Cavs game.  A very attractive woman whose company I found very pleasant over dinner.  She seemed to have everything going for her, and I was very pleased to know her.  During one of our dates, she inquired if I had a Facebook page and asked me to accept her friend request. Since we had been dating a few weeks, and I had gotten to know her a little bit, I was comfortable accepting her as a friend on my page. At the time I had limited access to my page, but was able to accept request via text messages.  She sent the request and I accepted via text message.  An hour or so later I received a phone call from her,

     "I was looking over you're page over." she said. "I didn’t know you knew her. How do you know her?"

      Now, at the time I didn't think much of the question, because I often get the same question from allot of people when they join my page. So it was know big deal to explain that I know the woman form a social organization I belong to.

      "Well I see you also know A.....,” Okay, know the warning light is on and it's yellow. "I see she commented on the page about how happy she was to see you on your page."   The light is now bright red.  Sensing her insecurity of the situation, i assured her that the woman was just an associate that I haven't seen or spoken to in months.  Having done the best i could to ease her concerns, I apologized for having the end the phone call, but I had to get back to work. A few hours later, I received a phone call from my friend and associate I was just talking about.

      "I just received a phone call from a friend of mine, I didn't know the two of you were in a relationship.,” she stated.

      "We've gone out a few times but nothing official. Why what's going on?", suddenly warning lights are red and flashing.

      "Well she asked me the nature of our relationship and if we had dated. I told her how we met and that I see you from time to time when I’m out." Okay...I'm being investigated now.

       When I got an opportunity to speak with her again, I got the third degree on another mutual friend from my FB page.  At this point I was becoming annoyed, and was about to ask if she had a concern about my FB page. She blurted,

     "I see from you photos you know allot of people. There are just too many people on you page to just be friends and associates.  I think you should loose my number."  Warning lights, bells, flags, and whistles are at full blast, suddenly, I'm looking for the fastest way out of the situation. Where's the stop button on this ride I got to get off.  I couldn't think of anything else to say but,

    "Okay, no problem."  I didn't just dodge a bullet; I dodged a nuclear warhead of dealing with someone highly insecure and still dealing with issues from a previous relationship.  Needless to say, I'm very leery of social media and dating relationship.

     I was lucky; I've heard worst stories involving public humiliation, both personal and professional.  Everything from announcing the break-up of a relationship, the loss of a job, to contracting an STD are all fair game to be put on display and misused. People in relationships are using social media to air their dirty laundry and find dirty laundry on their partners, friends and lovers.

     I discourage the use of any social media in making any decision on your relationship.  Please don't use FB, MySpace or any other social media as a measurement of your relationship.  Talk to your partner, ask about what you seen, heard or read.  Never assume anything, until you have heard it from the people themselves. Besides, you can't always believe the writing on the wall.