We are your typical group of men out for a drink in the local spot to kick of the weekend. We have Tyrelle, (a college grad from a rather prestigious New England University) every thing he says is so profound and intelligent. Unfortunately it's wasted on us after about the third beer, but we entertain his conversation anyway. He can be so sensitive. LaShaun, the womanizer of the bunch claims to be so smooth with the ladies We never see him with the same woman twice, but they are always very beautiful but not all ways the smartest. Steve is Mr Life of the Party, every body loves this guy, and why not... he's funny, entertaining, knows everybody's name. He tends to be the one everyone is looking forward to seeing. Then there is Marcus, he doesn't say much. He just smiles a lot and whispers every now and then. No one ever really notices him, but he's the keeper of secrets and has the dirt on all of us.
A couple of good friends, a few drinks, good conversation and lots of laughs is a great way to past the time to finish a hard week. Until one of the fellas of the group starts to become board, and the conversation changes to something a little more interesting. Oh yeah, it doesn't take long before the conversation turns to women. Then the real fun begins, because we all know that Marcus is a little awkward with the women.... so everyone has their opinion as to how Marcus should try to talk to her.
Marcus leans over to LaShaun and gestures in the direction of an attractive women across the room. Looking for an opinion on her appearance, and the possibility of what his likelihood of being able to get her attention.
"Go ahead man she's ready, do your best. No... I take that back, do better than your best.", says LaShaun. Laughing as he takes a sip from his beer.
"Ah com'on Shaun, I get plenty of women, I know how to talk to them.", says Marcus.
"Well then... go ahead then and give her that old ass line where you ask her ...'did it hurt when she fell from heaven'. Wasn't that the line Adam gave Eve in the Garden.?", we all laughed.
"Seriously man, try asking her opinion on something. Like ask her if she thinks your shirt works well with your outfit. You know... try to get her talking." Tyrelle suggested. But we all know that Tyrelle's been with his girlfriend for the past six years. He hasn't been on a date since his girl asked him out when they first met.
"Yeah, like she came out to drink and tell a grown ass man how to dress. Your outfit is fine, that's your Grr-animal outfit. Right?", I almost choked on the buffalo wing I was eating.
"What you want to do is get her to smile at whatever you say. She's really pretty, she looks like she's got herself together anyway. I'm sure she's heard'em all."
"Then... what do ya'll suggest I say then?" asked Marcus.
As he threw his hands up, as if giving up.
Steve looked over Marcus' shoulder for a minute at the lovely looking woman across the room, "Look the bartender just poured her some Henessey. Say something about what she's drinking. Henessey is a strong drink, she knows a little something about her liquor. Try but be witty. Remember you just want to make her smile... get her to laugh with you not at you! I don't want you to go after the phone number off the top, I want you to just meet her, and at least walk away with a name. If you get a club name, cool. You just want to keep the conversation fun and light. No interview questions."
Steve leaned over to Marcus and whispered in his ear. Marcus laughed shrugged his shoulders, stood up and walked over to the Voluptuous woman. Stood by her a second, turned to speak to the woman and said a few words. She turned to him laughed and smiled.
"What did you tell him to say to her? LaShaun asked.
" I told him to walk over to her and say, 'if you like your men like your drink, give me a shot!' and give her a big smile. Steve smerked.
"That shit worked?!, exclaimed LaShaun.
"He still over there, isn't he?, Tyrelle stated.
The rest of the evening Marcus spent the entire night with the young woman at the bar. At the end of the night he came back smiling like the cat that ate the canary.
Steve had made a very good point with switching up the line. The young woman was impressed with Marcus' interest and his attentivenes to her. He was very successful using humor to brake the ice with her which helped her to feel at ease talking with him. Marcus is just like many men and women who allow their fear of rejection keep them from meeting new people. Too caught up in the concern of feeling rejected, they choose to say nothing at all or say the wrong things.
I completely agree with what Steve was suggesting to Marcus. In fact the best way to meet new people and to increase your dating is to change your mindset about approaching someone. Decide to approach someone with the sole purpose of making a new friend, not meeting your new husband or wife. Lose the idea that you have to score, and accept the goal of just enjoying the company of a new friend. It will make those first few words to a new face come easily and your weekends full.
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