To Lecture or Listen...

     Have you ever suddenly found yourself in a lecture on a date?  I mean at some point in time during the date you feel you should be taking notes because they seem to have become an expert on everything.  You originally started talking about the artistic differences between 90's Hip-Hop and current music, to suddenly being schooled in something called a TR-808 and the bass line.  Now your listening to something you have no interest in or care to continue listening.  Even worse when being advised how and why you should like 80's music over 90's.  You feel as if you have had no idea about what you were talking about.

     Then there are those dates that make you feel the center of attention.  Where your opinion and thoughts are valued and appreciated.  Maybe you were telling them your interest in digital photography, and you were asked to give your opinion a good camera.  The person was sincerely interested in your work and even asked you to review their photography skills. You walked away from the date feeling the person was interested in you and really listened to what you had to say. You came away wanting to see that person again, for another date and sharing more with each other.

    Well when you meet someone for the first time and actually sit down to have a conversation, you have a fifty-fifty chance of talking to a lecturer or a listener.  A lecturer does just that, they lecturer and attempt to impress you with their knowledge and expertise in something you already knew well.  Then again you have the chance of having a listener.  Someone who shows interest in you, and is excited to hear more about your interest and experience.  Most of the time this has been the complaint of many women I've worked with.  I'm often told their date just didn't seem interested, or seem to care about their opinion. Often lectures are men, but sometimes they are women. 

    Are you a listener or are you dominating the conversation with you expertise and knowledge and tend to lecture your date to boredom?  Can you share a time you realized you were dating a lecturer?